Are there any significant experiences you have had or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?
In a world filled with vast desire for reign, power, and supremacy, one must stand out from the idle crowd and start the change. One must raise the hand of conversion and begin filling the empty holes and spaces. One must spread the wings of actions and show the earth that the greatest crave should be the longing for love, value, and God.
As the world’s progress upsurges every minute, more and more events continue to pile up to mark a legacy in the book of history. With every tick of the clock, a lot of occasions are changing the earth little by little, may it be good or not. Some brings peace, while most influence a lot to fly with the cast of the unknown, to vanish in an instant. Everything has changed. Everything is constantly evolving.
I have been in this world for almost 16 years now and I’ve been exposed to a lot of things, people, and events. I have seen a lot, witnessed a lot, and joined a lot. Everything differs from one another, none is the same. The thirst for earthly belongings just seems to eradicate every moral from the grounds that every man is standing.
I’ve opened my eyes in this world as a human-android who is always aiming for triumph, gold, and title. Being raised by a family wherein defeat and failure are big NO’s, I’ve been directed to never have bent knees, never collapse on a certain thing, and never allow someone to rise above me. I’ve been targeting everything – medals, praises, attention – throughout my entire life for, as how I see it, it is my road, my path, my destiny.
And so, for almost my entire existence, I was a competitive geek, a humanoid who thinks nothing but honor and glory through conquest and victory, a living model with all shining metal pieces hanging on his neck. I was then smart, intelligent and bright. I was a consistent title holder of the most precious “first honors” from grade one to my junior year in high school. I have reigned in every contest, surpassing every challenger and demolishing every competitor. I gained praises, claps, words of wisdom and acknowledgement, high fives and even high tens if there are such.
The status quo of staying on top had been always a challenge for me. It is not a piece of cake. All eyes were on me, focused on me – watching every move, every step. One mistake would mean a noisy growl of insult plus the fact of receiving ear-splitting sermons and hours of reprimanding. Thus, it is clear that I should commit no error. Yet, I was just a human and it was hard, very very hard.
The gold, victories, and triumphs, after all, were my greatest nemeses in achieving happiness and satisfaction in life. Only then, I realized that I never experienced true bliss in 16 years. These things did not even lift any positive emotion in me. I envy my friends who were all happy, yet no recognitions they contain. I envy the average students who are living a simple life yet managing to flash a meaningful smile every now and then. I was just like an old-fashioned robot – no anything.
I tried to change, but it was never easy to reach the light when you need to be in the dark. Eyes were still on me, still spotting everything. I tried to be like my comrades, humble and meek and know how to smile yet it was no easy crack for I need to be on top. I attempted to turn away from everything I used to do, but no, I can’t do it for it is attached with me forever.
Later then I realized that what and who I need is God. I tried to be faithful, to be devoted, and it worked and still works. “Prayers can move mountains,” thus said my mentor and I finally found out that it is true. I believed. I prayed. I experienced God’s love.
In the end, the awards, recognitions, and appreciations are just decorations in experiencing God’s love. I still continue to reach the top, but now I know that I have the greatest weapon I can carry that will bring me happiness as I receive gold. Today, I know the definition of being a person, and it’s not a matter of winning, but playing the game in the presence of God’s love. Now, I can define myself as a person, and not any alien or bionic person.
“Try not to be a man of success, but rather to be a man of value.” – Albert Einstein.
Flaming Eternity 